U MAD BRO?

Okay, so I just had to talk to my friend about something, the problem wasn't really resolved....and this is a major thing in my life right now...so I went to write in my notebook about how I was feeling (even though I need to study)
and kept having this feeling like "oh, maybe I should pray and things might be resolved in my mind, something could be brought to light- at the very least I could find some peace"
So, I prayed....or talked out loud to God...

I felt so stupid, because in the end I'm pretty sure all that happened was my sister thought I was crazy saying "Okay, what do you want me to do?  I am so confused and lost"

....Prayer is sometimes where I start to doubt God, I know that is RIDICULOUS of me, but seriously...a lot of times prayers go unanswered...thinking now after typing that, maybe to me they seem that way, but maybe God just answers them in a different way than I was expecting.

I DIGRESS.

anyway, So I wrote down pretty much that God didn't say anything, I still feel uneasy, maybe I need to pray harder..even though I am pretty sure I can't do anything else.  I think prayer is crazy.

I think I'm crazy.
Jesus was crazy.
All Christians are crazy it seems.

I think that's a big thing about why people don't like Christians.  We are crazy.  I mean, to people of little or no faith- we are psycho.
Most of the time, people aren't happy when you say "I'm a Christian" if you say I'm a Christian.

Then again, if I am talking to someone and I say "Well, I'm bipolar....blahblahblah" they give me a horrid look like "oh man, this is one crazy girl, I am not going to talk to her"

But, being Bipolar isn't something I can change.  It is who I am.
Just like being a Christian now- ("it is no more possible to wake up and want out of a marriage than it is to stop believing in God") - is who I am.

This is who I am, I don't doubt that I'm bipolar, I figured out how to accept it and live with it.

I need to stop doubting my faith in my head.
Jeeze, I think I say this every time I post.

Doubting the power of God through prayer- I'm being ridiculous.  Prayer is part of being a Christian, accept it Michelle, learn to love it.  Learn that God does things in his own way, even if I don't see it.

...okay, I feel a lot more peace now that I figured that out...

I'm crazy, I am a crazy bipolar Christian.  Get at me.