Blue Like Jazz

So, this is all because a good friend of mine got me thinking.
I hate to talk about religion.  I think I'm just afraid of it....but he kind of introduced me to not being afraid of things.

I have a problem with fear, fear of the unknown.  I don't know what I believe honestly, and I used to think that I did.  Then I ran into trouble, and kept running.  I want to know.  I want to figure out what I believe, because to me, belief in something- ANYTHING is important.

I'm going to read this book- Blue Like Jazz.  I am hoping it will get me thinking.
These are kind of my goals: (subject to change)

I want to learn- I need to learn, mostly what I believe.  But really, everything I can.
I want to grow- Once I learn as much as I can I want to figure myself out and expand.  I want to grow in myself, so I can be as full as possible.
I want to love- This one is super personal for me.  I need to learn how to love myself, and love others.  I'm hoping figuring out what I believe and stand for will help me with this...or, I believe that it will.

...So, here we go.
Enter the madness that is me.